Pratik Rimal

"The charm of mortal life, since her arrival has been joy, thoughts and longing of togetherness...a wish to be always behind her and protect her...maybe life after all gives us a second chance. And with your arrival, I now indeed believe that it sincerely does for our heavenly father cannot be heartless, as he instilled us with hearts of love, trust, faith, compassion and joy! .....

......Time tickles in joy and passes with a melancholic song. The hollow cry of penetrable sounds from the wild beasts underneath the moonlight alerts me of your hopeful
presence...and I am waiting..."

(extracted from: Stars Fall Down)



About Me

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Kathmandu, Nepal
Ever since I first started to write my first poem and article, I've loved to write. I continue to learn to write. In doing so, I let my feelings, thoughts, and emotions run wild and let people know what I intend to say, what I want to say. For me, writing is a creative expression to express what we never can say by speaking... Your readings and feedback are always important to me. Therefore, I wish that you'd write to me. My email address: pratik.rimal@hotmail.com Cell: +977-98511-42610

Friday, January 23, 2009

Schizophrenia…longing the presence of my beloved?

I see a figure following me wherever I go. Lurking behind my shadows, creeping in the dark, the image sends a cold chill down my spine. I look behind, stand still for sometime to see the figure sometime soon. But I fail to see. I turn a circle and still fail to find that cautious figure who stealthily hides when I search for it. The illusionary figure haunts me daily and I cope it…I try not to acknowledge its existence and yet I fail. Should I tell about the imaginary image to people that are real and make a mockery of myself? A mistake that would be, I feel and thence conceal the thought all to myself. The image is so blur that I fail to know if it is a male or a female. Someday, I wish I could see and acknowledge its figure; either a girl or a boy.

I query myself. Why am I seeing this figure? or rather feeling it all around me? When I know it is an illusion, why can I not get rid of it in a flash? I fail to know and every time I try to answer it, I get troubled by a probable answer of suffering from schizophrenia! I retreat this thought and blame for my creativity as an artist. I have after all imagined majority of the things that surrounds me.

Everything that happens must have a reason behind it; a cause that always exists. With this thought, I ask to myself, why is this blur image haunting me? Do I long for its presence? Is it someone I know and care of? Is it a girl then? A male is unlikely to long for a male presence!

Thus, to console myself and comfort the haunting presence, I now imagine the lurking figure as my beloved. Consequently, the scrutinizing presence becomes calming and memorable. Then, I answer to myself; a fact so true that her image now fills my heart. Distant we are, yet our love is so deep that one longs for the other’s presence, a fact we have time and again confessed but yet, it had surpassed my mind by the fear that protruded my existence.

Thus, now I enjoy the presence, a sweet longing of my distant beloved. She now is with me, wherever I go, every where I go. Like my shadow that lives with me till the end, so does she, her presence, her love, charm and aroma that lingers in my breath, mind and heart.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Life oh! Life …a brief sojourn of human existence

Is there another life? Would I wake up again and find this all a dream? Will the somber sleep in the chaotic day be an illusion that I own? Will I wake up again to re-live my life, and with it, express my words and feel the emotions; a bliss to cope human misery? Would I hold her hands never letting it go? for I still remember the promise I made by holding those hands tenderly, but firmly, “Beloved, I won’t let you go, never”, and then had given her a warm embrace. Indeed, I long not to let her go but I’ve now come to know that life isn’t the way we want; but rather the way it wants.

Our life, thence is a brief sojourn of both joy and pain, of reverences and good deeds, or rational thoughts and illogical perspectives, of guilt and confessions; but fore-mostly, of life and death. We all consequently have to let go of the person who means dear to us. One just didn’t say without some reason that “promises are meant to be broken”, but I’d rather say, they are “made” to be broken by the two faces of human existence; life and death.

Had I not promised her that I wouldn’t leave you…that I will love you to eternity despite my short lived life? and now I reclaim, haven’t I broken the promise I made which I had once professed with utter truth and meaningfully? Or have I been “made” to breach my promise by my brief stay in this world? I take a second thought to reach a conclusion. I conclude, maybe we retreat our words at times, but it is life that makes us abandon it, at most. I never want to, nor do I intend to leave her with no one to guide her after my fall…The world is full of people, but there is neither affection nor warmth amongst them to console her after my demise. Who would be with her to crack jokes? To give her all the warmth and love she needs after my fall? To guide her the way? To be with her, just with her?

“Even if I die,” which we are bound to, “I’ll look down upon to you and see you with a smile,” I had not failed to say. But now I doubt my words. What is after life, I fail to know…and I guess no one knows. After my somber sleep to the eternal night, my human emotions will depart. The soul is supposed to live forever, but it lacks human emotions. So, will I really be able to see her…watch her every steps? I do not know.

All I wish is to revive my life. If only my wish were to be granted! But life isn’t the way we want; but rather the way it wants…