When Tika Bomjon, 34, came to know that he qualified for Nepal Army (NA), he was jubilant. Eldest of the three siblings, he had become a part of an institution that none of his family members had been. For such reason, his parents were optimistic that their son would do something. However, destiny had something else for Tika, a resident of Rajghat, Sarlahi.
Since his childhood, Tika had a strong desire to serve his country, and the moment had come—not just to serve his country but also to wear the institution’s uniform that he had envied since his upbringing. “I had always desired to wear NA’s uniform, and when I was selected, I was very euphoric,” Tika recalls in joy. Four years had passed when he was sent to Nagarkot's Dur Sanchar Barrack on 2002/2003 AD. “It was a time when one wouldn’t know if s/he would return home alive,” Tika remembers, and it was then that Tika’s destiny, his dreams and life changed forever.
November 29, 2002 AD, Dur Sanchar Barrack, Nagarkot…around 5:00 PM: Army personals stationed at the barrack rest after having their meals. Just then, Nepal Army’s intelligence reports of an expected fire from Maoists and orders soldiers stationed at the barrack to stay on high alert position. Upon hearing the information, soldiers position themselves but for almost three hours, they notice nothing.
Around 8 PM: Bullet sounds are heard from distance. Steadily, the sounds grow louder and soldiers stationed at the barrack start to backfire with some hiatuses until 4 AM. Weary soldiers head back to the barrack and take some rest. No human causalities on the army's side is reported.
November 30, around 9:00 AM: Soldiers make their way to see and repair damages that the night's fire had caused. “The barrack was almost destroyed and electricity poles had collapsed creating short-circuit,” Tika recalls.
“While going to repair the post, I slipped from a hill. As I tried to control myself, I held a short-circuit wire and got electrocuted,” Tika vividly recalls. By the time Tika came to know of the incidents that followed, he was heading to Birendra Sainik Hospital, Chhauni and had been unconscious for an hour or two. After gaining consciousness, he started to stammer, blabber whatever came to his mind and run frantically to ease his pain. In turn, the doctors injected Tika, and he lay unconscious for around five days. "When I woke up after around five days, I saw that my left hand was amputated and my right hand heavily bandaged," Tika recalls. "The doctors had asked me to slowly move my right hand but I couldn't. After 10 days, I lost my other hand, and had it not been removed, doctors said I'd have cancer." In such way, Tika's dream of serving his country until his death and his dreams about his life all vanished.
At the hospital, Tika's pain had passed to his parents and his wife. His friends had informed his parents and they had come for a visit. Seeing that her son had no arms, his grief-stricken mother was severely traumatized. "My mother still hasn't recovered from the shock," Tika confides. As he recalls the moment, his eyes fill with tears. "I was the eldest of the family and my parents believed that I'd do something. Yet, they found the opposite," Tika choked.
In his poem, 'A Dream Deferred', American poet, Langston Hughes, (February 1, 1902 – May 22, 1967), queries 'What happens to a dream deferred' and after various elective answers, the poet concludes 'Or does it explode?' After losing both of his arms at an early age of 21, Tika's dream of serving his country until his death deferred forever, and he did 'explode'.
"I continuously cried for six months and attempted suicide many times. Seeing what I could do, my friends never left a door or window open," Tika narrates. "I wanted to die because all of my dreams had perished…" his eyes, once again, well up with tears. "Back then, I felt as if I was a living dead. I had my breath and nothing else." Tika shared that had it not been the NA and his friends, he would not be where he now is. "Had it not been NA, I'd have been on footpath begging for survival," Tika expressed.
As life moves on, events that precede and follow sometimes hurt us. Yet, time eventually heals, but it does not fail to leaves behind scars. "I still cannot express the pain of not having my hands. Even now, I wish I had my hands, and such revelations strike the deepest when I'm alone." Tika shared. After crying for six months, Tika heard the name of Sudarshan Gautam, who, too had no hands. Yet, he drove a car with his legs. "Initially, he was a great source of inspiration, and that was when I decided that I too had to move on," Tika recalls.
If a person becomes a poet at the touch of a lover, as Plato (429–347 B.C.E) said, pain further outcries heart-rending emotions to express itself on words. Hands move feverishly and idle tears roll down one's cheeks and spills over the paper to leave a mark. However, when one has no hands to write their emotions, but he persistently wants to express his pains, he seeks an outlet—through legs and sometimes, mouth. "I had so much pain within me that I wanted to express it as long as I got tired. Then, I tried to write with my feet but could not. After that, I started writing with my mouth," Tika shares. "In the initial days, I wrote Shayaris and later, songs.
Married a year after getting into Army, Tika's wife has been his greatest inspiration and his God since his incident. "My wife taught me to write songs and it is because of her that I am here. Every time I write something, I first show it to her. She is my biggest supporter...she is my hands…my God," Tika shared in joy. Such togetherness led Tika to produce an album on his own cost on 2003 /2004 AD. "The album's sales was more than what I had expected, and it further inspired me to overcome my disability." By now, Tika has written around 150 songs where many famous singers like Ishwor Amatya, Karna Shakya and others have lent their voices.
Like many people, Tika too believes that whatever happens, happens for good. "When I miss my hands, I recall that what counts is action and not passivity. Such thoughts inspires and consoles me," Tika shares. As people move on with knowledge, experience and lack, their dreams slowly changes, and Tika's dream too changed. "Now, I want to express my pain through my songs and be an inspiration to many disabled people," he shared, adding, "If one believes in oneself and has strong determination, anything is possible." Now, Tika has a different dream—"I want to set a World Record by composing six impromptu songs in an hour, stay in music and compose patriotic songs and in turn, hope to continue my deferred dream."
(The story's title comes from Langston Hughes's poem, 'A Dream Deferred'.)
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