Quest What did God create?

I say, I know, I express, I feel, I smile, I cry, I breathe, I live, I die…stop my breath…

“Life is a sleep and a forgetting,” Socrates once said. And is it not the truth? Who has lived too long to withstand the almighty time? No one, and no one ever will.

Have we not come naked and empty handed? And is it not how we are to go; fare-welling for the last time that we never do realize? Who is immortal? I fail for the example save god. Bring an armful of rice from a person’s house who have no traces of the dead. I ask to you, and can you? Never.

Everything that belongs to the earth grows and decomposes in it. So do men and women.

What did god create? Human beings, animals, plants and other things. Ask this question to the six billion people that reside in this earth, and is it not the likely answer one is to find? It certainly is.

But did god, who is deemed immortal create mortals like us? Did he not create something like himself? Something immortal? I ask. Are you to have an answer? A real exception if you do.

Necessity is the mother of inventions. Aren’t new insights born to guide people when they are in dilemma? It most certainly is born. Thus, should I not answer my own question to show my companions a path? I should.

Indeed, god did create something that is as immortal as him. He created something that has undoubtedly withstood time…traveled the world by drifting in the air to re-live once again; giving life to another mortal body. He created, I say, the “Soul!” A soul that is as immortal as him.

Does not a mortal produce mortal? Is it not a natural rule? And then, does not an immortal produce immortal? Is it not a natural rule of unnatural thought?

Men created men and not God. Therefore, to me, it is unnecessary to thank him for creating us. It is a mockery I exclaim! I say, thank god for creating and instilling soul on our body. Thank god for the soul that now resides on your body by which you see the world. Soon it will go for although it withstands time, your body cannot. Therefore it leaves your body and you die. The soul, I say then wanders in the wind that sometimes howls, and most of the time gently blows.

Thus, now I conclude, and so should you saying that the immortal god indeed did and does create a soul that is immortal like him. Our body is a product of the earth. It belongs to it. Therefore we die and are buried under the ground. God didn’t create human bodies, I reclaim. He created our soul that is as immortal as him.

First Kiss

“Always write things that people can relate themselves to,” my father has always said about my writing. Rather than philosophical thoughts, write the reality that resonates human sentiments, he meant to say.

Many things happen for the first time in our lives. Unlike Plato and Socrates who believed that our soul is immortal and existed before our body came into existence, we believe that along with us, the soul was born for the fist time as well. Continuing the first time, we fall in love once (although most people later continue to fall in love for the second and third time till they’ve found someone who they’ve been searching for all these years), hold someone’s hands, kiss and embrace them for the first time as well. Like everyone else, I fell in love for the first time, and it was then I first held a girl’s hand, embraced and kissed her lips.

Till these years, never had I embraced nor kissed a girl. Moreover, never had I stared into those eyes with meaningful words saying I love you, and you mean a lot to me…Indeed! Never had I held those hands and made promises of never letting it go…

“Step on my feet. I’ll walk over the thorns so it doesn’t prickle you; bleed your feet” I had said while I held her close; feeling her heartbeat that beat by my name.

The first kiss, how do I tell what it was like? I lack words to express the feelings that came when my lips touched a girl’s lips for the first time…tender, soft and full of love it was and that is all I can every say in my reminiscence of my first kiss. I shy away!

I wonder if everyone felt the same on their fist kiss. I hope everyone feels the same way I felt. And when you profess the kiss in words, expressive soft words of powerful emotions is the first kiss…a kiss so deep, passionate, tender and longing for their presence never to desert us; making us stranded in the dark nights with neither the moon nor the stars to help us retrace our way; but to a different path that leads to loneliness!

Now that we’ve departed, we’re both away from one another, should I let go of the lingering kiss and cope for the ahead days without another kiss? I fail to know. And yet, were I to allow my conscience to guide me, it speaks my heart. “Recall the kiss and cope with the days because it will give you warmth, comfort and love in the lonely crowd and the bustling traffic.” Thus, I now let my conscience guide me. I recall the kiss—the very first kiss of tenderness, love, and that was full of passion.

My words now somewhat starts to take shape. My heart longs for her presence and yet, I cannot reach to her save those moments we spent together; and that I now cherish. I smile, for my heart pounds in joy; every time I recall the moment.

In the days, I thence long for her and my heart aches for her in days. I offer this note just to her. I do hope she reads it, and feels the same way too.

And now, when I remember the first kiss…tender, soft, deep and passionate…

Patient Love...- true love ‘spite it’s uniness, never dost betray…

Characters:
Charles (army, war hero, beloved of Natasha)
Natasha (beloved of Charles)
Jack (a soldier under Charles’s battalion)
Jason (brother of Jack)
Soldier 1
Soldiers
Man 1 and
Man 2.

“Reckon the sounds,
Love dost wait and forgive,
‘spite the betrayal,
It dost last to linger on,
And when thou forgive,
Look how merry the aroma of love rhymes in thy heart…”

SCENE I

(CURTAIN RISE)
(The play starts from a farewell. Charles’s is leaving Natasha as his country is in war. He is consoling her, while she resists the tears)

Charles: Beloved, kiss me upon my lips,
And let me go…farewell me with your smile,
Fail will I not to return on your arms,
To breathe your love but once again.

Natasha (tears upon her eyes): Would you have to depart?
Leaving me…oh! How cruel and painful it is to farewell you,
Your memory so fine, will linger upon around me,
I kiss you (kisses Charles’s forehead, then his lips gently); for trust to the Lord, I trust to thee.

Charles: Smile my princess, oh! Do not you cry,
Shall not the Lord betray upon your love,
I will prevail, and then return to my safe heaven,
Onto your arms, never would I fail to confess, I love you.

Natasha: Charles to you, I thence kiss a farewell,
I will ere…look your way,
M love does linger upon your breath,
And it will amour, shield your pain,
I drink your lips, we shall meet…(kisses Charles’s lips)

(Both now farewell each other. Natasha bids Charles’s a good bye from the door while Charles walks to the road that is to lead to the army head-quarter and then to the bastion.)
(CURTAIN CLOSE)

SCENE II

(CURTAIN OPEN)
(Charles’s is in the war, and there is Jack as well)

Charles (to Jack): Comrade! You protect this fort,
It is your duty, resist till death,
Time has come to repay your mother’s debt,
Fight for her, save her soul…her soil…

Jack (to Charles): Sir I give to you my words,
Shall it not betray, trust onto me,
Till my death, I will resist,
And were I to breathe, the last of my breaths,
‘spite the end of pain, I shall smile…

Charles (to Jack): I trust you I know,
Nothing does happen to you,
You lead this company and protect the fort…

Jack: Yes sir!

(Charles now speaks to all the soldiers)

Charles: Soldiers, like Jack, your country as well needs you,
For without her, we would not exist,
Neither would she, were we to betray…
And I warn to all, betray your nation,
And upon to you, I seek revenge
And revenge of but death!

SCENE III

(A month has passed in the war. Many have been killed. The war doesn’t seem to end. Jack receives a letter from Natasha.)

Natasha: How are you? Beloved I pray,
Every single day, for your life,
I light aflame, every candle for you,
My prayers will not betray,
My voice, the Lord will not fail to hear,
I trust upon Him, I trust upon my love,
And look how I armor…armor to you,
Armor against hatred!
Armor against blood!
And thus I fill your heart with ever pounding love!

(Charles replying)
Charles: Love, what do I say?
The war never ends,
It is like sex,
The more you do, the more it lures,
Soon I hope this war will end,
So that I can, come to you,
Hold you tight, love and love…
I ere to write long, yet I have to go,
There is attack!

(Charles rushes to the bastion where Jack is fighting)

Charles: Fight, oh! Soldiers,
Do not retreat,
Kill or get killed,
And even when death bends your knees,
Do not bend early! Do not lie low!
Smile and go for LOOK! Your mother welcomes you!

(Another soldier is killed)

Charles: Jack, hurry. Hasten and call the Father,
May peace prevail,
(looking to the soldiers who are distracted by the death),
Soldiers! He died for a noble cause, praise and salute,
Do not retreat,
Less we might in numbers be,
Yet we will not retreat, until the end!

(Jack then accelerates to call the Father, but he never comes back. A soldier sees him surrender to the enemy. He rushes to Charles and reports the event)

Soldier 1: Sir, oh! A bad episode befell,
I lack words, how do I say?
Forgive my vision, hearken my words!
Jack retreat! Surrendered with enemies!

(Upon the news, Charles closes the dead soldier’s eyes, prays the God for his peace of soul.)
Charles: Oh noble soldier, never feel sad,
For you died, saving your nation,
Never worry…your life will not go wasted,
We will win…Amen!

(Now Charles assembles all the soldiers and roars in anger)
WHEN A SON BETRAY’S HIS MOTHER,
MOTHER TO WHOM, HE IS TO SAVE, ‘SPITE HIS DEATH,
LORD (looking to the clear sky) I WILL SEEK VENGENCE.
SOLDIERS, MELANCHOLY IT IS,
AND IF YOU ALL ARE TO AGREE,
I SHALL SEEK REVENGE FOR TREACHERY.
THE DEATH OF JACK, IF FOR SURE,
A.N.D. IF ONE OF US IS TO REPEAT THE DEED, STEP BACK!

(No one retreats. All cry for revenge and death of Jack.)
Soldiers: DEATH! VENGENCE TO TRAITOR,
VENGENCE…VENGENCE…

Charles: If all say it, he deserves death, (in slow melancholic voice,)
Upon to whom I trusted so dearly,
Betrayed my trust,
He gets his reward of breaching the trust, DEATH.
(CURTAIN CLOSE)

SCENE IV

(CURTAIN OPEN)
(Another month passes after this ill-fate encounter. Another letter of Natasha arrives.)
Natasha: Never worry, my love,
The war shall end, it must end,
Men I hope, are not always fools and cruel,
Oh! What horror the war has become!
And you will come, I look for you,
I feel your presence, are you fine?
(CURTAIN CLOSE)

SCENE V

(The war is coming to an end. The battalion saves the country. Jack is caught, and captivated. He is on his knees, surrounded by his former friends, Charles is next to Jack.)
(CURTAIN RISE)

Charles: Traitor, Villain, why I ask to you Jack?
Upon whom I trusted so exceedingly,
How dare you breach my trust?

(Jack stays mum. The soldiers shout for the death of Jack. Despite all of it, Charles’s resists the forces that seeks death of Jack. Jack then speaks,)

Jack: I shall not ask for forgiveness Sir,
What I did, should I never have done,
I ask for death, I plead guilty,
Favor me not,
A man betraying his mother could betray you,
I ask for forgiveness, I ask for death…

Charles (severely): And yes, you shall get,
A rule is a rule,
Easy to say…hard to act…
Yet I have to, favor upon you, I cannot do,
You are alike, every other soldier,
Some who lives, some who died,
And now you shall join the Black Parade,
Forgive me, but I ought to do,
Stare to the horizon,
Smile and join the heaven,
Does your mother not forgive you? She does.
Look upon the horizon, it calls onto you…

(Jack is beheaded. Blood flows down his neck. His eyes, nostrils burst with blood. With it, his body tremors and shakes, sprinkling blood all over the soldiers cloths. Then finally he falls still. Everyone pays a tribute to a fine soldier despite the treachery.)
(CURTAIN CLOSE)

SCENE VI

(CURTAIN RISE)
(The news of Jack’s death spreads over the country. Jason, jack’s brother is heart broken. He firmly stands against Charles’s decision of killing his brother despite the treachery…he should have given a chance…a right to life which he deserved…Consequently, Jason decides to take revenge upon Charles. For it, he decides to hurt his heart, and kill Natasha and make Charles’s suffer what he suffered. Thus, Jason reaches Natasha and soon makes her fall in love with him, a curse she falls too. As a result to it, turmoil starts between her and Charles. Irritated by Charles, she decides to leave him and trying to stop her…)

Charles: Would you have to go?
Desert farewell the one you love so dearly?
Should it be fair?
To au revoir your beloved
Upon whose arrival you longed on the war?

Natasha: Oh! Time doth change,
Flowers doth fade…wither,
Spring turns to autumn,
The heaven’s eye to cold….
Then why dost love not change?
Words doth change?

Charles: Heaven below you, stands the proof,
If this is what is to make you merry,
I retreat, for love does wait, I will not pretend,
(with tears in his eyes), True love ‘spite its uni-ness,
Never dost betray.

Natasha: The paths that once, crossed our lives,
Turns too away, we have to depart,

Charles: Merry life you live, I pray to Lord,
May you’re road bring;
The fragrance so sweet and fill thy heart,
With ever pounding love,
Never ending joy,
Never dost you beget miseries and pain,
I kiss your thorns and offer my joy…

(Upon hearing these words, Natasha turns away and walks with tears in her eyes. Charles continues to stare far to the horizon until his eyes wear out.)
(CURTAIN CLOSE)

SCENE VII

(CURTAIN RISE)
(Natasha is knocking Jason’s doors, and seeing her,)

Jason: Oh! Look how dear the roses look,
Upon your arrival, how warm is it,
‘spite the coldness the winter now brings.

Natasha: (embracing Jason) lo! Jason, praise me not for what I am not,
A simple girl I reckon to be,
More than that, I fail to know,
Beyond the horizon, I cannot go.

Jason: If you say so, I do what you say,
Yet, look the roses, oh! Does it not blossom?
Your gracious presence,
Does it not fill the air,
And how would I fail, to breathe your breath,
…your breath everything now breathe!

(Natasha is wordless, then she says,)

Natasha: Oh! Fill me not the words of a poem,
Speak your voice, that is what I ere,
Love of a poet, strange is it to me,
I love Jason, not a poet’s words!

Jason: Lo! My love, do I sound a poet?
(Aside: if only you’d know my true color)
I trod upon your way to cross and crush!

Natasha: Hearken again! A poet’s words!
“I trod upon you way to cross and crush!”?
For you do, you sound a poet,
But I love you, the way you are!

(Slowly Jason starts to show his true color. His love pretence finally starts to wither. He screams at Natasha on petty matters. He beats her while she cries for forgiveness. One day after a fierce fight, she is badly beaten with bruises all over her body. Likewise, her cloths are torn and her hair in complete mess.)

Natasha (crying and remembering the words of Charles. His voice echoes in her heart…)
“…if this is what would make you merry,
I retreat, for love dost wait, I will not pretend,
True love ‘spite its uni-ness,
Never dost betray…”
Natasha (in tears and with heavy heart,)

Natasha: My love, oh! Beloved,
Where are you? How are you?
Your presence still lingers around me,
Your fragrance I breathe still…and it pertains the fire not to die,
Forgive me for what I did,
A deed, I never should you forgive…

(CURTAIN CLOSE)

SCENE VIII

(CURTAIN OPEN)

(One day in fear, she goes to call Jason for dinner. There she hears him talk with some men. She stealthily reaches the doors, slides it a little bit and hears)…

Jason: Oh men! What a fool this girl is!
I pretend love, and she loves me for real,
How she fails to know that everything I did,
I did to seek revenge upon Charles for Jack’s death!

Man1: Yes Jason, a pretty beautiful fool is she!
And would I not fail to spend all my money,
To lie on bed with her…
Hear her moan my name in agony!

Man2 (inquisitively): Jason, but how did you made her fall in love with you?

Jason: Ah! Is it that hard to fool women? Nay.
Rosy words is all they ere…shower them with gifts, all are your! (pointing to Man2)
(Hearing it, Man2 praises Jason and all laugh a devil’s laughter while Natasha behind the door cries. She then opens the door in alarm. Seeing it,)

Jason: Oh love! Sorry am I,
For what I did,
Forgive me for beating you
I was …(Natasha interrupts)

Natasha: forgive a devil, who pretends a God!
How can I?
I hear just fine, my eyes now fail not to lie,
Blind you did turn me upon the love you played,
Yet no more of it,
I go to Charles and it ends all…

(All are alarmed. She tries to walk away but Jason catches her and slaps her while she spits on his face. Three continuous slaps and she cries but stays mum.)

Jason (to men): What are you all looking at?
Go! (both men go. Now laughing at Natasha,)
Oh foolish weren’t you!
And failed did you to understand,
“I trod upon your way, to cross and crush!”
A word of a poet, how fancy you say!
You got no brain,
You beget pain!
(Screaming) AND YES I SAY,
I PLAYED ON TO YOU,
AND YES I DID,
TO SEEK VENGENCE TO CHARLES,
AND NOW HE WOULD FEEL HOW IT FEELS TO FEEL,
WHEN SOMEONE DEAR, FOREVER LEAVES YOU.

(All of a sudden his voice is calm while he speaks at insane modesty)
Oh Beloved! I love you so much,
Nay leave me…for without you, I fail to live,
Leave me never, for I would die…
(He laughs out aloud while Natasha fears him. She turns pale. He now leaves her locked in the room.)
(CURTAIN CLOSE)

SCENE VIIII

(CURTAIN RISE)
(All to herself)
Natasha: Forgive me Charles,
A mistake I did leaving you…
And now I know how it feels to you,
How I hurt you; Lord! Oh Lord! Bless him!
(Loud) Could I now go to him?
Would he forgive?
Care would I not if he fails to let off for a sin I did,
Even god would not agree!
And yet I long…I ere to seek,
Seek for forgiveness, bend on his knees,
His presence around me, never will desert but to me…
Thus I ere to his arms,
I long for you, but for forgiveness…

(CURTAIN CLOSE)

SCENE VV

(CURTAIN OPEN)
(Natasha has escaped from Jason’s confinement. Despite leaving the trap, she didn’t leave the predator. Jason is running behind her. She finally reaches to Charles’s doors. Knocking at the door with might and fear,)

Natasha (in tears and fears): Open the door Charles! (looking behind the trace of Jason)
OPEN THE DOOR!!! (looking behind the trace of Jason)
OPEN THE DOOR!!! (looking behind the trace of Jason)
OPEN THE DOOR!!! (looking behind the trace of Jason)
OPEN THE DOOR!!! (looking behind the trace of Jason)

(After several knocks Charles opens the door and is surprised to see Natasha. Right then his joy changes color seeing Jason. Natasha turns behind and sees Jason as well. Hiding behind Charles, breathing fast in tears)

Natasha (now behind Charles): Charles, forgive me for my sin,
Upon your love, I opt for him,
Mistake I did,
I seek no forgiveness for my deed,
But make him suffer, the way he made me suffer,
And do what you ere, to do but to me…

(Charles’s face hardens upon hearing her words. He clenches his fists. Seeing it, Jason falters. Then he laughs aloud)

Jason: And finally I meet you,
A murderer who is a war hero,
What did you get? I ask to you,
Killing my brother, a fine man and a soldier,
(Jason referring to Natasha) and look the pretty little bird,
Ran from my cage,
Just let me catch it… (he crosses Charles and then pulls her by her hair (ahh-Natasha) and when trying to take her away, he punches Jason, whose blood is now dripping from the nose. Jason retraces a few steps)

Charles: You ask to me, why I killed but Jack?
Never should he be forgiven,
For a man betraying his mother,
Is a culprit, and I fail not to forgive the deed.
And had I not warned him before!
and had he not said, I will not betray, but he did!

Jason: But could he not be forgiven?
Does a man not make a mistake?
And does one not, learn from them?

Charles: And yes! A man dost commit a mistake,
But not a deed to betray a mother,
Like a serpent drinking milk and yet injecting venom,
I should not drink, but throw it away!
The venomous milk could get hold to anyone!

Jason: And so you will suffer,
The serpent’s venom,
The death of your beloved,
Oh it is for sure,
And then will you feel,
How hard (trembling voice) how hard it is,
To see someone close die…

(With this he charges against Charles. Both fight with bare hands. Being beaten hard, he retreats, pulls a knife from his back and heads for another charge. This time, he overpowers Charles. Charles falls down while Jason, with his dagger is trying to poke Charles’s eyes. Seeing it, Natasha trembles and then rushes to get a gun for Charles’s rescue.)

Jason: Let me poke your beautiful eyes Charles!
How nice you are to look,
When you turn blind…
Blind and deserted…
Forever till death…suffer more…

(Natasha is now coming from the house with a gun in her hand. Jason sees it, and he digs the dagger into the arms of Charles’s shoulder and marches to Natasha…right then she pulls the trigger and Jason falls on his knees.)


Natasha: And you will pay,
For every pain you caused,
Charles’s won’t die, neither will I,
But a demon, a villain is to die,
For the good never ends no matter how the bad pretends,

(She then fires four continuous bullets and Jason lands with a big thump, his eyes staring to the horizon.)

Natasha runs to Charles and lifts him up…
Charles, forgive me for what I did,
A mistake I never should have done,
I now reckon, what it is to love and loose,

I do not ask for your love that I fail to deserve,
But for forgiveness, and that is all I ask,
(in tears) forgive me my love,

Charles (smiling): And what do I see,
My princess crying!
Oh how hard it is…
Ask me not for forgiveness,
I am but yours, to life and death,
Thou art my shadow,
And could I be angry to myself?

And look the winter!
Time did change, (Natasha in tears)
And flowers did fade,
The spring turned autumn,
But did love change?


And heaven below you, stands the proof,
I did wait, I will not pretend,
I cut was too deep,
And yet, now you come,
Look the scar to remain just fades by your love,
For did I not say,
True love ‘spite its uni-ness,
Never dost betray…
(Natasha is in tears. He turns her around, kisses her tears, then her forehead)

I love you, and still love you,
Love does wait, the patience does pay,
Life’s a shade, look…(showing the tree and its shadow) and the sun,
The paths that cross will always cross…

“Reckon the sounds,

Love dost wait and forgive,

‘spite the betrayal,

It dost last to linger on,

And when thou forgive,

Look how merry the aroma of love rhymes in thy heart…”

THE END

Illusionary Eyes …humbleness granted!

The humble features of a tiger should never be taken for granted. The nature’s meticulous craft of this stunning beauty is what lures people towards it. Covered in stripes and filled with its silent, gracious and tender moves, who would believe or acknowledge its might; strength and ferocious rage which sparkles in its eyes that we fail to notice?

But then it strikes! Yes; and it strikes with its mighty power! ROAR! Hear its rage and its strength! Sharp canines then tears apart the flesh and eats like a hungry beast. Who would have thought nature’s beauty would strike with huge force? Upon whose memory would have it stroke that the beauty would turn into a ferocious beast of mighty power hidden underneath its tender paws and mouth?

Now it occurs, underneath a beauty hides a beast that is patiently waiting to strike when the right time comes. Mesmerized by the beauty, the beast within easily surpasses the beholder’s eyes which sparkles brilliantly upon its gracious presence resembling a fairy!

The wait is over! Patience after all paid off. Then the fairy strikes. the fairy upon which we had looked with amusement changes its presumptuous existence turns to demon. Only then do we realize that what had amused us before had stroke without knowing that it had injected a slow poison stiffening our thoughts! Only then do we acknowledge that our eyes lie and everything we see and appreciate are overwhelming disillusions which we fail to realize until now!

Uproars of havoc is thus heard. Chaos starts. Screams of betrayal, agony and cries of help is heard. But alas! Help never comes. Prayers are never heard. The countless doors knocked for shelter never opens. Heaven turns into hell. The earth turns topsy-turvy.

And now that the cries have ended with every person’s last breath, the fairy then steps on the earth with her gracious presence, mesmerizing charm. She then pities human eyes of disillusion that for the last time stare not to her but to the far horizon of heavenly shelter that never sheltered its creations…

Childhood Reminiscence

How cherished are the never coming childhood days as one starts to re-live those moments once again deep down their hearts with farewell-ed innocence that is revived for the time being! And when we re-live those moments of childish behavior, deeds and acts, we hearty laugh out loud now. Who could dare intrude our reminiscence while we wipe the merry tears that continues to fall from our eyes whilst we continue to laugh to the fullest!

Questions of WHEN, WHAT, HOW, and WHY upon which we had earlier laughed suddenly changes into intellect. Then we start to define and limit those precious moments with logics and mature answers carved by our education. Education ends our innocence. Consequently, as we start to answer the aforesaid queries, our revived innocence deserts us. We are thus only left with reasons, arguments, questions and rhetoric. Our hilarity vanishes into thin air resembling a dream…an illusion.

When was the last time you laughed to the fullest without having to reasons to back it? Try as hard as you may to pretend that you laugh to the fullest every time you laugh, I scorn at stupidity. The only thing knowledge has done is aiding in creating pretences. These pretences are spoken by a fool and heard by the same. In its pursuit, mankind has lost something valuable…something we had not noticed until now; innocence. Thus I claim, we all are fools because emotions and moments of innocence we try to re-live can never be explained by reasons and arguments. It is a feeling deeper than anything.

When something over exceeds any limit, it becomes intolerable to bear. This is the break-even point where we ere to retreat the burdens and long to be who we once were…where everything was looked by eyes, words of innocence and amusement. This is when we long to be a child once again forever and live a life that colossally blossoms with the never ending fragrance of innocence.

Knowledge is power and important. I agree with it. However, in its pursuit, we’ve lost innocence. Likewise, we the mankind have lost the essence of emotions that were to be felt from the heart; not thought, defined, argued and limited by a defunct brain of logistic or mechanical approach.

Lamented Ode to Childhood
“Small wonders roam over these narrow lanes,
Innocent little kids who see the world with utter innocence,
While they roam and play, and wander around,
The sun above them shines in merry brightness,

Although those elderly walk to the temple doors,
And offer their respects to their creator,
Those small wonders are closest to the heavenly spirits,
With their innocent hearts that wonder a god.

An elderly thus lamented, for his childhood long gone,
Where he played and roamed, and wandered around…
Here and there, with nothing on his mind,
And no sorrow in his heart,

Oh! how beautiful life had then resembled,
When I wondered what is a cat!
Yet how quickly it has flown,
And left me with not a bit of my childhood innocence,

But now I know, a cat and a dog,
With distinct characters of their own,
Yet something flew right below me when I knew them,…

My childhood days with innocence overshadowing me.

Yet those little wonders, now with innocence etched on their faces,
Will be just like me,
Lamenting for their lost childhood days,
Considering how quickly life has flown…
Oh! What misery.

But I now wonder with innocence that at least is revived,
Who is closest to god forever long,
With the flowing time, a child alas! Grows to a man,
With no innocence left behind…grave deeds and the same intentions,

What a sorrow it is to say,
None of those mercied are close to god,
For between the heaven and the land below,
Vast winds and cool breeze blows!”

‘neath the moon light …perplex words of concealed emotions

Her short presence and the time we spent together has created a dilemma of either senselessness or of euphoria that I never thought could find.

Ever since her arrival, I have cultivated an abstruse feeling of my wholeness. Never did the days and nights haunt me for a presence like it now does! I exasperate, divert my mind, and yet her presence…aroma never does leave me. Her shadow fails to desert me amidst the maddening crowd of individualism and of weary eyes that stare towards its journey beyond the bustling traffic.
I stare at the stars accompanied by the moon so as to give meaning of my sentiments that resembles surrealism. Suddenly her image; a crystal clear ision of fair face, small eyes, gestures, graceful movements and her smile lingers in my mind, heart and dances on my eyes…

The somber nights of loneliness and the chaos of the day is when my sentiments become an impulse. This is when I long for her graceful presence to surround me by injecting sedative anesthesia to tranquilize my adrenalin.

And yet! I constrain my emotions and stay exceptionally silent, confining my movements to careen hand gestures of friendly greetings. Could my feelings stir in the gentle wind and reach the distance we are apart? I fail to know…

My wisdom and virtues then fills me. Right away I am pulled in a catch twenty two situation of melodramatic reality. Despite of what I feel, I conceal my happiness by perplexed helplessness. Therefore, we both share familiar friendly hand gestures of greetings upon either’s arrival…

The desert weed lives on, but the flower of spring blooms on. And indeed, the flower’s fragrance fills the air tonight with the aroma of her charm. This is why I confess that upon her arrival, I would not fail to suffer a thousand helplessness to conceal my emotions, just but to see her smile.

Time Instincts

Serene sounds of tranquility that I hearken on your arrival fills my heart with joy. Time mostly is cruel, but at times it is a blessing. But upon your arrival I wonder, is time really cruel? Or have we not developed instincts to read its messages encrypted in the natural signs we fail to acknowledge; which are everywhere?

Your graceful arrival has taught me an important lesson of time that I stood against for so long…patience.
Time harbors patience on us, and those who patiently wait and pass the frustrating test only gets the prize. After all, patience always repays. The repay, moreover is always sweet, and thus we long to cherish. Even if we fail to cherish for long, it still will be cherished as an euphoria that continually lingers in our memories.

INSTINCTS, we call the last sense is hard to develop. Unlike the five senses of vision, taste, touch, sound and smell, we have to cultivate it. Furthermore, it has to be nurtured; and the process is fearsome many people retreat in agony and or out of patience. That is why, I reason we falter. Consequently, we blame time to be cruel and our enemy.

I reclaim, my patient stay upon the time’s harsh test of pain, my increasing frustration of not finding someone I could relate to has finally paid off.

A Proposal

I look into a girl’s eyes and then acknowledge what love really means. Tranquil days and somber nights now are replaced by restless days and unhindered thoughts with the sweet memory of her existence. Upon her arrival, the days that passed so very quickly now seems never ending time until the somber night…our means of togetherness comes to light aflame our hearts closer in the warm darkness. The darkness, I wish I could hold onto always for this is our time…for early morning, we’d have to depart…awaiting the day’s nights to hover over the blue sky, and then again…we’d be together.

The fragrance of love now thus blossoms with mighty hopes…aspirations…cherishable moment of togetherness and missing departures. The sweet sounds of love overwhelms my heart. Her sweet sounds of love lingers in my ears. With it, her face continually dances on my eyes while my heart fees, misses and longs for her presence…

Now that we’ve met, I hope it is to eternity for without you, I fail to imagine my life. the fragrance of her existence and her love makes me wonder if it was for her that I waited so long without giving hope? In sheer joy I exclaim that the patience has its own sweet reward…a reward I will always try to hold onto despite some troubling times we all go through.

Trust…Hope…Truth …let not it be hindered by anything

The stars that were to show light in the dark nights in the end seem to fail. Dark nights now reigns the sky while the stars stay helpless holding its light of truth as it tries to penetrate the night, but fails.

From the ancient times, there was always the truth that overcame the wrong. However, it was a long time back. Time has now taken a rapid turn and we’ve surrendered our morale to it. We try to say, “look, this is the truth, not that, and I mean it, even if you don’t,” but fail like the stars that continually tries to penetrate its spears of light but falls short due to the thick layer of obscurity.

I ponder and say, truth and trust are two partials that give shape to hope. If there is no trust, one would not believe the other person’s truth, no matter how much the other means with utmost sincerity. I reason it as a result of some opaque object that hinders the person’s truth albeit they try to get past the incomprehensible object and reach the person standing behind it.

Would she believe in what I say? I have hope for I know that I’m telling the veracity. Thus, I still have hope by my side…my lucky charm that would some day embrace her and make her believe that this was the truth and not that…

We mortals have always been seeing the thorn than the rose. Name it stupidity, ignorance, knowledge or intellect, it seems so very absurd. Scores of people acknowledge and proud their perspective…their stands, and that is when they loose their happiness. After all, happiness is in the journey and not in the end waiting for a person to come to it and swallow it like a pill and be happy forever…or is it? I fail to know, but despite it, my instincts assume and believe the former, for that is what I’ve always believed. Thus, I’ve always cherished and enjoyed my journey ‘spite the consequences. After all, life itself is a journey.

If it were to be latter, I say that the happiest person would be a lifeless person or a person meeting their end. After all, their journey’s come to an end, and in front of them, happiness awaits them…waiting to be swallowed. But I ask, if it is the latter, when a person comes near to his end, why isn’t he happy? After all, he wanted happiness, but why does he now want to hold back the time and trace his steps back to the journey, yet again? I answer the probe because I know; happiness lies in the journey, and not in the end…

Life and Desires... a limitation set by...?

Could I stay startled gazing at a vision that dances on my eyes while I sit back being confined by reality? I wonder its existence and yet ponder at the thought of how strange life is…or how close it resembles on being strange.

Could I foretell the future and console the present while at the same time try leaving back the past? I try to but still I wonder how much would I succeed.

Things never go the way one wants. With the thought, I now doubt if my life and my desires and wants are the same poles of two magnet…is it? I ask to myself. After all, my desires of life has always been repelled by life…or vice-versa? I wouldn’t stick to one.

Yet I again wonder and ask, is this what we call life? the impulse…reverberation…tremor felt from the magnet? I lack the answer to the question I’ve raised.

Will my knowledge, the mastery over words and my philosophy beyond my age be enough to answer the question? The sense of responsibility and an essence of pride ness overwhelms me. But the feeling fades away as quickly as it came for no matter how distant and wild my imagination runs, my feet has always stood firm back on the ground. Thus, I now ponder the question I’ve raised trying to quench my thirst of life and desires…the limitations set by time or…?

Springs of Autumn...the mark of disillusionment?

The sounds of spring that blossomed so erotically on autumn now has been starting to fall apart…wither by the cold winter that sends a chill down my spine. Should I disdain the thoughts…disown it as if it never came and look for a new life…world again? I do not know what I should do next because a thought of the myriad girl pops up to my heart making me reluctant and confused every time I think of ‘new.’ The haunting thoughts makes my nights and days as endless and prolonged to eternity although a day has a short life of just twenty four hours…twelve hours of day and the same of night.

An existence so real yet tries to disillusion me by making itself seem as an unreal existence. Could my words be so strong to draw it towards to me?...and if not, what would the alternative be?

I search for ways as the emotions that runs deep and wild within my heart can never be expressed by immortal words but only by mortal heart that pounds and longs for its presence when we depart; and even when we meet.

The lingering sounds of tranquility has been replaced by the thoughts and notes of confusion. To it, the spring of autumn has been refrained by the unexpected winter to which the spring could not stand…last long enough although its feet were strong from base.

The wonderful days of my joy still exists and will continue to last despite the turbulent times we face and will continue to face. That is life I say…cherish the good moments and learn from bad. After all, life is all about learning, isn’t it?

That is why life is a flow…change, but can’t it be stagnant at times? Like the pond…not the streams that touches the rivers from heights?...that touches the silent water below with massive strength as it tries to hold back everything cherished…trying not to fall down from the source…trying not to forget everything? I wonder why we can’t.

After all, not everything is the changing and flowing river…is it? Some are stagnant like the pond…aren’t they? If it is, I ask, why do people change and always compare themselves with the river? Why not with the still pond at times?

If I could…and I am a soft and pure pond that gives life to others and yet remains the same till I exist…

I continue to echo my existence in my surrounding while others experience and live in me, and pass away with time.

Who is guilty? I now wonder. Is it me? Is it those who forget me after they pass away or the time that has made me to eternity by the words I write…by the words you read…by the words that are made to exist forever; yet again by time…

Ahana...the morning sun

The presence of a girl from my dreams now has made flowers blossom even in the autumn that is so dry and withered to lifeless-ness. The vivid memory of a fair damsel with dark black up to her shoulder…her shy smile…and her Caucasian face dances on my eyes and thus scrutinized me on the fragrance of her beauty…

The night's stars are replaced by the dark clouds that all of a sudden reign the dark and break into joy of rain by stirring the somber tranquility that comes to welcome a new day of tomorrow… The morning sun raises with majesty from behind the mountains as I open my eyes. The radiant light and its warmth reawakens my soul like never before and takes me to majestic heights. With the heights I conquer, I spread my arms to touch the bright sun. Its heat continually tried to push me back, and yet its presence and its beauty struck me by awe…luring me to come towards it. And then I reached it…ignoring the harsh sweltering heat of the sun that had burnt so ferociously in rage of a human's majestic flight. And then when I touched it…

And when I touched it, I stayed bewildered. The heat that was so strong sometime before was tender and soft from inside, and as I embraced it, the dark clouds hovered the warm days of earth.

The time had come for us to share a private time that only the stars could see and shine bright in joy reflecting its happiness to the dark earth below. The aroma and warmth…the tenderness of the sun…I cannot explain in words except by countless emotions that I feel from the inner depth of my heart…the heart that is so joyous and its madness of love…hotter than the hottest sun anyone can know of…

Time is too quick to catch. Now it was time for us to depart. Although I never wanted to let go of her presence, I had to…we had to depart for there would always be ahana, and we would meet again at the quaint dark nights. Thus at days, I roam and wander at her memories as I recollect her presence that spellbound me in the fragrance of her charm…aura…

Rain Philosophy

Drenched in rain, I ponder its tenderness and yet stay startled at its fierce force that can overcome rocks and anything as heavy as that. Then I try to perceive life, unraveling it meticulously till it starts looking hard and strong from outside, and yet is soft and frail from within as anything could result pain, tears, joy, happiness or euphoria. Then as I continue to untie the threads of life, the softness of rain and water comes to my mind. I get bewildered seeing the two contrasting elements of nature that has nurtured each to existence. The water so tender and soft from outside can overcome rocks while the strong from outside is childishly frail from within and anything could trigger the aforesaid human emotions.

Then a sudden question involving human sentiments strikes my mind. Is it why we are humans and therefore mortals while the soft water to eternity? As I try answering the question, I start being shaky and nervous for to reach any conclusion, I lack knowledge. Likewise, my curious words of innocence fail to fathom and understand nature. However, despite my search for the answer sought, I now understand it. Nature! I say is the strong and the weak…soft and smooth like water and again harsh and rough as wind…cold as the winter, sweltering heat as the summer, bare as the autumn, green as spring…innocent as the lamb and fierce as the tiger. It is life in all forms.

With it, the rain fades and makes way to the fair clouds and the warm Sun that now shines bright upon my face. Although my question remains unanswered, I smile as I conclude: The nature is life in all forms.

Unreal Existence ...Master of the Pen

An elusive existence of a lady from my dream dances on my eyes as I now reluctantly wake up in the bright morning sun. With the melancholy of her disappearance, I recollect her memories…her sounds…her movements…her embrace and her kiss. The recollected memories are thus cherished as it calms me with sedative tranquility. Then her distant voice from the somber sleep of the night resonates deep within me. Her lingering memory continually lures me to fall asleep and reach to the place where we had departed…right to the place where her tender lips of love had touched mine.

Oh! And when thou wonders't how it hath felt…I tremble as I feare words would betray…I feare for words hath lost its essence. Nothing doth seemth right vpon the damsel's tender soft words of loue. Thence as I walk on the paths, I scorne and chide to selfe and yet pretend I heare not a word. Haue I lost my wits…my senses? I fail to confesse for thou art a proffe of my disillusionment…imagination. And with that thought, breeze so soft…beloved it blew! And it blew thy dark hair onto which the sun would hide and the moon reign. And thus thy voice ecchoes on my eares and I heare sweet joyous sound, I drowne vpon it to a farre land.

And as the smoke disappears in the wind, I drift back to the place where we had departed. This time I felt silence crawl between us, which was immediately broken by her tears so precious that I caught them…never letting it slip from my palms. The tears asked me to answer why I had left her when I had promised that I'd wait…Should I embrace and touch her lips like before? I stayed confused. And when I tried to reach to her, I felt being drawn by a strong magnet and see her slip. Not willing to let the either go, we both spread our hands, and hold the other…but couldn't. Her short presence had left me restless while her existence and her kiss had spellbound me in the aroma of her scrutiny.

I cannot live in dream and yet I do not want to accept the reality for I cannot let go of her thought. I search for her in the days and wander at nights wondering about her…shocked to see how an unreal existence could make me restless. I continue to stay perplexed and over gaze at her presence.

The stars of the nights try to convey something that I cannot get right…that I haven't quite understood. Although I do not know her name, the silent nights that are filled with shining stars would tell me about her while it throws down its spears of lights in the darkest of times. Thus I keep waiting for any signs…not just waiting, looking and searching.

I thus drive my energy to know why an unreal existence left me restless. Why although my mind accepts her as an illusion, I'm not convinced and my heart doesn’t accept? Is she real? If so, where is she…is she looking for the signs as well?

Only Chance

The sound of tranquility overwhelms the grief that had cast its aroma has now gone with deemed voice of joy. The sounds of the prophets and those of the saints rhymes spreading ephemeral notes of seductive words. Should I stay perplexed in awe or look for a solution? I stay disillusioned because I still fail to know what to do next for I fear the only chance that might change the course of the sea; leaving me stranded amidst the vast water body. Should I profess my illusionary existence or search my own identity?

The air of disillusionment fills my surrounding. I stay startled nights and days looking for a solution, yet fearing the only chance that could stir the sea direction and make me wander at an aimless direction. Would the existence come as an illusion? Would it end like the subtle wind that goes unnoticed apart from the wind itself?

The answer finally comes to me as one early morning sun rose behind the mountains and shone upon my face. The early radiant light communicates to me…what’s gone is gone, and what awaits in the future…let it wait…let it come. Important is the present. So I strive to be who I am and live the present. And if my present existence bids farewell to my illusionary existence, so be it. After all, no man can be contemptible and live forever.

Vision Quest

A thronging pain reverberates deep within me as I look for a vision that has left me restless days and nights and spellbound me in its scrutiny. Solemn did I stay, draining an outlet of my reality through eyed dreams longing to resilient emotions, sufferings and sentiments by a vision quest.

Yet, the prolonged experience of my life skills and my philosophy interrupts the quest I have set myself on. I’m left with options, having being stranded on the middle of the sea without rudders to guide a proper way. Should I proffer the harsh reality or let my imaginations weigh down its reign upon me as I surrender to any of the options.

And again, despite the options, I stay confused because either of the rudders is as strong as the other; luring to take a side. Having being lost in the sea, I stay silent during the scorching heat and travel during the nights looking the bright star.

In spite of my disillusionment that is to last for a minute while it spreads its fragrance of confusion, the spirit of my soul and the zeal to look my own way craving a self identity on my own finally comes as a lasting rudder to show me way in any of my vision quest.

Delighted, I now travel night and day; indifferent to the sweltering heat of the sun and the colossal wind and silence of the night to reach the goal and cherish the journey for eternity despite of my short lived life.

Enlightened

I now scorn at my stupidity and listen to my creator’s voice that reverberates within me, and enlightens me; making me prodigious to other mortal beings I live with…that surrounds me. I laugh at my stupidity as I tried to make a destiny that wasn’t ordained to me by the God, and so I was beaten and baffled by the life I live. Had I listened and accepted the ordained destiny by the creator, I would have had a clear vision and meaning of the life I live…value its importance, cherish those precious moments I love, and live my days to the fullest; till I sleep for the last time…never to wake up again.
After being enlightned, I ask myself, would I loose what was never mine? Never, because it wasn’t my property. With this, I forlorn the destiny that I made and accept the Lord’s wish which I had under looked calling myself an atheist.
The solitary nights and days that I spent in solitude, denying God and his voice that I heard within now comes with a strong impulse to pray and kneel down for forgiveness in order to be redeemed. With this thought, I now know why we are mortals, and I say it is "because we deny our creator and do not listen to his words and orders despite being aware of his existence. "
After being enlightened, I now deem the destiny I made as sand in a fist that slips away no matter how much we try to hold on, and the ordained destiny, a stone of a particular color, consigned to all.
And now, my unity with God in peace and tranquility is reserved. Enlightened, I now spread my hands, rise being prodigious and fly without wings.

Inconstancy

Those words of nirvana now echo in my heart and mind as I become restless…inconstant. And in search of constancy, I thus long for the enchanting wind to take me away to a distant land where I dream a dream…of togetherness…where I can unite with my creator.
Inconstancy is a natural rule, someone said to me, exemplifying me the night’s moon that has to go in the dawn, and the heaven’s eye, that sets in the dusk. And someone again said, ‘fairness declines’ by the time upon which we bend; trying to make me content replacing inconstancy.

But I strive…and continue to strive for I believe, a man can never be content until there’s the peace of mind…a noble word from a noble mind, and I again ask, how do I seek and find constancy when I myself am a wandering soul at an unknown destination without a company to ease my journey…to share a moment of togetherness in this short life I have?

I ponder at these thoughts that makes me restless at nights and days. Would life ever be constant? Or would it resemble one, at the least? I do not know for I lack wisdom and knowledge. The sense of moral duty regardless of my search for constancy interrupts my unity with the god. I slip and stumble down to earth although I had seen the heaven’s gate open with angels on each side to welcome me; where enlightened men and saints rule. And so I console myself with a subtle sublime smile that surpasses beauty and goes unnoticed.

My journey to the heaven now enlightens me although I still am restless. I feel joyous and overwhelmed. After the journey, I try being content with peace of mind, a beating heart and a soul that now wonders…wander at the human destiny ordained by the creator with reverberating voices of inconstancy.

De-profoundis...a cry from the depth

Genesis

Life shined bright to the poor couple when Bertha, his wife bore a boy, who, the farmer believed, would help him in the palace while the boy stayed there…learning and serving; continuing a practice of seven generations. The little boy’s was named James, having been born on the day James Christ got redeemed.

A year later, Mary was born to the Highnesses inside the palace.

James virtually grew up in the palace and knew Mary closely. Mary was a girl with that brilliant smile and spark in her eyes, that promised to stay till her existence giving others hope and love, which she probably did. But soon she had to go to a convent for her education. She was five when she left and returned after her eighteenth birthday.

James had also grown up to a young man with powerful shoulders while his parents turned frail.

The parchment of her arrival had come and James was excited about seeing his long, lost friend; after all he had last seen her when she was five! Finally, Mary came after a week. Her graceful presence came and he felt as though flowers would blossom on her trodden steps. The powerful attractive man stayed startled to see her; amazed to recollect the thought if this was the very girl with whom he once played! And yes, he knew, it was her, for she still owned that smile and sparkling eyes!

“My princess” exclaimed her father as he hugged and kissed her forehead.
“I have always longed to see you, my little darling.’ “That’s why I sent Father Nathan to get you off the convent. And, what have we here? You grown thinner little girl! Don’t they feed you? Those convents don’t do no good.” The Highness made a statement.

“Papa” she said, sobbing. This was the first time she spoke and her sweet voice echoed in James ears as he didn’t hear when she called him until she shook him off.

“James, you grown handsome, I must confess” said Mary teasingly.
“Thank you, your heiress, and you are beautiful still and own those eyes that I adore.” Mary did not say anything, but replied with a tempting blush.

II
A journey of two souls into one had begun for the spring had just come to welcome the two. Both spent hours looking at the vast empire that the Highness had amassed…roaming here and there…
Often, James would stare at Mary when she talked while the Sun shined bright upon her face, and when it hid into the clouds to welcome the moon, and Mary would do the same time and again. Each silently admired the stare of the other, but both pretended as if neither noticed.

“Spring has begun, my heiress. And the flowers look more beautiful with your presence” said James.
“Don’t call me heiress, James. I’m Mary, and stop flattering me.” And with those words a cadence of silence filled the air, each speaking with their eyes while their lips whispered “I love you” concealing their words deep within for no one heard the other’s voice which they longed.

III
Spring had changed into summer. They had been spending long time together and knew each other closely. The summer had come with its scorching heat and sweat. Both Mary and James had kept a distance after their rumors of togetherness spread in the palace. How do signs work together to show ways, no one knows, but they do know that it would work out.
“‘James, I guess you’re in love with someone, and I don’t know who, but I will soon find it out.” Mary made a repeated remark that later became a quarrel. For the first time James was startled, but then he longed to kiss her lips and say that it’s you.

“I love you” James said in rage finally getting irritated. Mary had least expected it when they were quarrelling and it brought the coldness into an abrupt end with a look of astonishment on Mary’s face.

“I love you, Mary” repeated James this time with tenderness. Deep inside, he feared this treachery to the Highness for, he was the seventh generation serving the palace… and Mary was an heiress!

Her eyes stared deep into the horizon when she spoke, and the depth of those eyes, James couldn’t fathom. “I love you, too” replied Mary. “And I don’t know since when…probably the moment we had departed twelve years ago. I thought of you at nights and days wishing to get back home to talk to you” she said getting lost in her own world where she saw just James and herself.

A silence had slowly crept its shadow between them when Mary broke out with a sublime smile, “Maybe the spring really has begun, James. It really has.”

And for the first time, a sweet shadow at the edges of his consciousness longed to reach her for her presence in the dark nights while they shared their first kiss in hustle fearing guards. Silence had yet again crumbled expect their eyes that talked of their helplessness because Mary didn’t let go of the thought of him being poor; although she least bothered it. But the thought of her father and his laws of status-quo mattered and she knew he would never accept, and that too with a servant?

Soon her eyes stretched to the horizon when she whispered in a low voice, “Papa…” Mary wept unable to speak further and James had only just touched her lips when a sentry saw.

IV
Night had come and with no alternative, both headed back to the palace while Mary promised the guard a bag of gold if he kept the secret.
“Papa, I want to go horse riding” said Mary the next morning.
“Why little girl! Sure enough. I’ll call James” and Mary stayed content with a smirk on her face which the Highness failed to notice upon the child’s brilliant smile and eyes that danced in joy.
The pretence of horse riding only was a means to run away from the palace and the cityscape. Dawn had turned into dusk and the details of both Mary and James went unknown. They were reaching far from the city and then the guard spoke.

V
“They have gone your, Highness. Gone. Your daughter betrayed you, and ran away with the servant she loved.” In a flash, a pool of blood filled the room, the guard was beheaded by the enraged Highness.
“Go and look for the two” roared the Highness to his men who immediately set on their horses and went for a search.

VI
The couple had been steadily going talking of their life together and sweet words of love when they were called by the guards, with whom James fought vigorously without success. Both were taken back to the palace; Mary unharmed, James wounded.

VII
“Villain!” screamed the Highness to James. “How dare you eye your heiress? You are a servant and she your master.”
“Papa, I love him and he isn’t my servant. He may be yours, but not mine.” Mary retorted and kept quite after a slap from her father while James screamed in agony at the pain from the soldiers’ lashes. Then the guards held her tight as she tried to get away from them.

“I hereby declare a decree: James shall be convicted and hanged for state treachery” Said the Highness.

And then his parents were brought in chains.

“Let them free. Let go of them. I’m the guilty. Not they.” James roared in tears and they were taken to confinement.
James sighed with relief but it had suddenly changed into an anger of deep hatred for he heard his parents voice…or rather a scream for the last time.

VIII
James was still being lashed as he continued to say “I love you to Mary” who did the same trying in frail hope to get off the guards arms that held her strong.
“I love you, James.”
“How long could love last in this earth?” asked James to the weeping Mary.

Exit
“Up above I promise
Oh! Beloved,
That we shall live,
And so will our love.
Thus we depart,
From earthly lands,
To join the heaven,
Where angels on their wings,
Welcome us…embracing you…
Embracing me…”
And, then his eyes stared blank into the horizon while spears and arrows pierced his chest with blood dripping off his body.
“James” cried a helpless Mary, getting herself free from the guards grip. She rushed to her love, kissed his lips, closed his eyes, sobbed a good-bye to the Highness and embraced those arrows and spears with a smile and her last words one would hear,

“…To join the heaven
Where angels on their wings
Welcome us…embracing you…
Embracing me…”

Wild Hysteria

The gentle breeze blows in wild hysteria with a trembling fear that makes human hearts pound in awe. These winds blow away those dusts, and with it, replace them with fresh ones, yet again. Colossal wind blows to soothe our pains, as we let ourselves and our thoughts blow away with it; which we imagine doing. We then long to fly…flow like the wind and those high flying birds which see the world with their eyes…a world in complete mess and sustained by logical thinking and scientific inventions and innovations.

The beauty is be-throne by the beholder’s eyes. Tranquilizing and sedating eyes of passive thinking and imagination has its own story to tell. But would these be heard? I fondly ask in innocence and with a note of perplex mind. Would these motions be explained by human words? No! I say, as I know that words get distorted by that wind, blown away to surprise human eyes and then take them back to reverie; disillusionment and seclusion! These humanly thoughts and the eyes could never understand the world of flux we created as we put ahead of us, those logical thinking that debars us from understanding of what the world is like.

I retreat; ask all to retreat to the ancient times when we evolved. Yes! I cry in sheer joy, those eyes could understand the world of today. For then; I believe, the world was newly born…or were we? I stick to the latter. Yet, as I dream, I take that the world had newly been born…born with us and bended to our logical thinking that now views it to be held by flux, and by absurd innovations and inventions.

CATCH 22

How strange does hope shine brightest in the darkest of times…when it is least expected! When our strength, courage and our own shadow had left us…deserted us leaving oneself in a state of reverie…making our existence; non existent!

Life isn’t all of happiness or sorrow, but of both. It is quite amazing to find how people stick to one extreme point of pessimism, but that’s when they see the light, which results in their bewilderment, that is when they question their existence; was I dreaming or is it a dream? After that they consume themselves with the most ethical and provocative question; how long would it last?

Human minds have always been in a flux of logical thinking, and step by step mechanical moves, although many wouldn’t surrender to this thought. We let our mind to tell what to feel; and our heart; what to think. This consequently results in the birth of those ethical and provocative questions. Had the heart felt, and mind thought, these ‘neon-questions’ wouldn’t have been raised, nor would have eaten us from within. And again, when you allow your heart to feel and mind to think, you yet ask the question of your existence…was I dreaming or is it a dream…and if it isn’t, how long would it last, with bewilderment and perplexed mind that now logically orders the emotions.

Dedicated to you Mom

“So long as eyes can see, and men can breathe,
So long lives this, and gives life to thee.” Shakespeare, William

Life isn’t always what it seems to be. We the mortal beings have always suffered and will suffer the pains, when someone close to our heart passes, a bitter truth, we never long to accept. Maybe, that’s why people say life is a motion and thus compare with those mighty rivers that flows. That is why people console us to “Move on” when we’ve been through so much pain, which our mumbling lips cannot express save those falling tears and hysterical cries that calls and longs for the person we loved and lost. I am not the only one, neither the last one to have experienced the pain of my mother’s death…a purgatory now.

The moment of togetherness we shared in this life, a joy I longed to last forever ended with a flickering hope to MOVE ON. Every single memory of yours helps me fathom the love you owned…the love you shared with me and only me. Your enchanting laughter and smile made me a complete whole. And then again, there were those heart rending tears that left me un-restful. Those tears were much small when I look at the irreparable damage that time played on to me…your loss that I had to bear…distressing to the discerning eyes. Time was the only enemy that stood between us…that limited your love. If I had a wish, I’d stop the time freeze the moment while you were laying on your bed…sleeping a sleep where not even my tears and love could touch you. But I now fondly laugh at the thought with a weeping note because now I know, if I did that, I’d be blocking you from your ascend to heaven from your purgatory.

Your loss has taught me one lesson that I never longed to learn…the very feeling of MOVE ON that sends a chill down my spine. MOVE ON! you teach me…but how can I when you’re not there to see me succeed…support me when I fall down…hold me close and then say with a tender smile, GO ON!

Ever since I lost you, I lost a part of myself. Now I believe that we all have to wish our loved ones a last farewell…and now I believe that we all are mortals. These words never can express how much I love you…miss you except my tears and thoughts that wanders at your memory, and yet blown away by the subtle wind that desserts me.

The grief of your loss is an unforgettable part of my life which will always linger in my memory with some drops of tears. After the rain, there always is the clear blue sky. So I now smile, acknowledge and accept your lesson to MOVE ON and really move on.
I now take life as a river, your memory, the wind that blows gently and at times howling. The words are poor to express my love to you…to express how much I love you mom.

Prologue

The sense of effort that comforts the departure not always is the bewilderment, but the memories of that vision, and the aching of your heart that longs for their presence when they are apart. It always is amazing to know how quickly time flows. The memories once so memorable to us will along with time probably fade away, if not completely washed out. With it, those painful moments are no different because they are the ones we first wish to erase from our minds and hearts. The weeds of the desert lives on, but the flower of spring blooms on, or so they say. Yes. The flowers of spring blooms on, and these are my flowers of spring and those of autumn, which have not forgotten to bloom, neither to wither.

It was the beginning of the year 2006 and the end of 2007 that changed my destiny…my future, and made me who I now am. The memories of the very year cast its aroma and spellbound me as I remember them. And yet, those fragrance fades away with the turbulence that had raised in the ocean…the very turbulence which I never thought could destine and shape my future forever.

It was the first day of my high school. As a freshman, I had lots of dreams and hopes that I carried along until the violent turbulence started causing devastation in my life. Those irreparable damages that I would have to live forever.
(of a novel I’m trying to write.)

Ocean Rage

And yet when memories of yours fill my mind, the waves of ocean strike the cliffs with its massive strength causing a violent turbulence. Yet, how long is it to last? So, it goes as it came causing a mere feeling of as if nothing had ever happened before by restoring tranquillity in the air dismissing the little waves below that are still left to restore a complete harmony. The striking waves that causes the impact on the cliff never forgets to break a portion of it and carry it along as it goes. Yet, people fondly look at those cuts caused by the waves so as to admire its beauty and fail to realize its complete whole.

The waves come and go in their ever unchanging circle of violence to tranquillity causing the cliffs to break portion by portion resulting to a question about its existence. The fury of the tempest and the rage of the ocean waves cause distress to the cliff, and yet it remains silent. But for how long? So, it cries its pain as those waves strike its chest in voices of sloshing, never to be understood by humans, yet mistaken for its magnificent melody! And with the ever hurting waves gone for a moment, it rests with its unrest mind looking forward for the next strike for it can do nothing but to weep again, and yet again people fondly mistaken it for the melody of oceans.

Every cuts and cracks and scars has its own story to tell if only it were to be told. The rage of the ocean and the chest of the cliffs, are no different. Yet, they resemble the unsung heroes of war whose bravery is far away from the acknowledgement of the distant maddening crowd…never to be told…nor to be heard. With the fading rage of the ocean, and the end of the violent turbulence, I rest my head and dream to a nomads land. There I imagine what would it be like if we were not to be in these circumstances, resulting to the very catch 22 situation of unchanging circle of violence to tranquillity.

Time Factor

Ever since “time” had been conceived by the human race, it has always been a barrier between our dreams and limitations. Time with its unkind flow is the most painful and bitter experience that a human bears apart from death. To put it more simply, time is the king of everything…including death…that is feared by all. The passing seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years are its very symbols that is feared by all, and suffered by few in the form of deaths, disaster or crisis.

All of us are the victims of incessant time that has limited our dreams and exhorted us to accept the reality. The time factor is, by all means the most discerned thing we have been put through in spite of our unwillingness. That is why we dream where we could beat time…dream where we are the almighty, and where time is the un-spared culprit for killing humans!

The homo sapiens is believed to be the most powerful existing creature of the world. But, how are we to define ourselves as the most powerful when we are an ant in front of time? In the course of our development along with time, we have invented almost everything that could ease our companions. We’ve brought into existence those massive buildings and bridges, and remarkable technologies unimagined by our forefathers. We’ve developed scientific theories from E=mc2 to the quantum theory, and yet we’ve not developed any theories to beat time. We’ve stepped into the moon, and mars; those distant planets. Yet, we haven’t been able enough to step a foot on the time factor. If only we were able enough to wage “War against Time” like that of terror, every nations of the world would pass their bills in full agreement! Then could we possibly call ourselves the “most powerful” existing creatures of the world.
A War against Time could be possible because there is so much hidden in nature…so much we still have to learn about. We, the energy gobbling creatures lack and will lack the python’s patience, the snake’s power to feel the earth’s vibration, and the falcon’s speed all by ourselves. The time factor with its immense strength captivates us making us proffer its power by will or by force! And, until and unless we have the capability to beat time, we have; to me no right to claim ourselves as the most powerful existing creatures of the world because that is the greatest enemy we have to fear from…with no hope of winning!

A Note

After the resilience of pain and sorrow, the sweet melancholy of happiness rests in my heart with tranquility on my mind. The relentless days that I had once spent with affliction and thus longed for peace has now come as a subtle surprise of the wind. Days no longer refer to those escapist attitudes but rather to the “down to earth” attitudes where we ere to look forward…no matter what be the consequence, and how hard or merry the day be. This was when I realized that happiness is always in the journey, and not in the end.

A year has passed since I’ve been writing poems. It’s amazing and wonderful to recall my memories as an emerging poet. In this journey, I’ve evolved through yellow tissue papers, small single torn pages of which a few are lost, and most remain, last pages of my school notebooks, promoted to middle pages, and finally shifted to a personal notebook. Throughout my evolution, I’ve written terrible poems, good poems, and a few really good poems that I feel proud of like “Versed Trial” and “The Great Gatsby’s Song.” I’m also glad that one night, I wrote “Python’s Patience” that gave birth to “Fair Lady”, an illusion of an angel in the form of a mortal being; eyed by all. The lady exists in many of my poems and will continue to do so because I have created her and given her life through my poems. In return, she has helped me bring “girl” emotions in my poems; that I lacked. Originally, I thought of calling Fair Lady as “Damsel in Dust,” but because it was long and sounded odd in the poem, I wrote Fair Lady, and in sheer joy I cried BINGO!

A year is a long journey, 365 days, 53 weeks, 8760 hours, 525600 minutes and 31536000 seconds. Throughout it, I’ve seen myself evolve to a better mark every day, to better poems every time I’ve wrote them down. In this time, I’ve felt and experienced pain, sorrow, loss, tears, love, friendship, and joys that were to last, but were euphoria, farewells, regrets, and so on. I’ve experienced best bonds turn fragile, and back to somewhat normal, and frail threads replaced by utter silence. The year had been very turbulent, I’d say…the silent ocean raised in rage and slowly calmed down. I wonder at times if it had been those very turbulent times that compelled me to write poems, and I fondly yet again wonder if the poems came as angels…as an outlet and shield to drain my loneliness. Whatever it be, I’m grateful to all the tears, joy, love, friendship because those elements helped me be a poet.

Aristotle says, ‘people become poets when they fall in love,’ and that’s how I probably became one. I could have fallen in love, or had a mere illusion of it’s existence. I’d best not stick to one. Whatever it be, it was great, and I will always cherish the moment. Love is a game of hearts. It is what people cherish throughout their life and wish to endure for the time immortal. Love is an impregnable bond of hope, trust, joy, and strength to cope through down times. Love can’t be measured with the depth of the seas, nor can it be measured with the height of the Everest. It only can be measured with the tears and laughter…with the beats of heart that pounds to hear that special name…

Fair Lady, I wonder who you are, but you will always inspire my poems, live in it, and give life to them; although I created you…