A DREAM DEFERRED *

PRATIK RIMAL

When Tika Bomjon, 34, came to know that he qualified for Nepal Army (NA), he was jubilant. Eldest of the three siblings, he had become a part of an institution that none of his family members had been. For such reason, his parents were optimistic that their son would do something. However, destiny had something else for Tika, a resident of Rajghat, Sarlahi.

Since his childhood, Tika had a strong desire to serve his country, and the moment had come—not just to serve his country but also to wear the institution’s uniform that he had envied since his upbringing. “I had always desired to wear NA’s uniform, and when I was selected, I was very euphoric,” Tika recalls in joy. Four years had passed when he was sent to Nagarkot's Dur Sanchar Barrack on 2002/2003 AD. “It was a time when one wouldn’t know if s/he would return home alive,” Tika remembers, and it was then that Tika’s destiny, his dreams and life changed forever.

November 29, 2002 AD, Dur Sanchar Barrack, Nagarkot…around 5:00 PM: Army personals stationed at the barrack rest after having their meals. Just then, Nepal Army’s intelligence reports of an expected fire from Maoists and orders soldiers stationed at the barrack to stay on high alert position. Upon hearing the information, soldiers position themselves but for almost three hours, they notice nothing.

Around 8 PM: Bullet sounds are heard from distance. Steadily, the sounds grow louder and soldiers stationed at the barrack start to backfire with some hiatuses until 4 AM. Weary soldiers head back to the barrack and take some rest. No human causalities on the army's side is reported.

November 30, around 9:00 AM: Soldiers make their way to see and repair damages that the night's fire had caused. “The barrack was almost destroyed and electricity poles had collapsed creating short-circuit,” Tika recalls.

“While going to repair the post, I slipped from a hill. As I tried to control myself, I held a short-circuit wire and got electrocuted,” Tika vividly recalls. By the time Tika came to know of the incidents that followed, he was heading to Birendra Sainik Hospital, Chhauni and had been unconscious for an hour or two. After gaining consciousness, he started to stammer, blabber whatever came to his mind and run frantically to ease his pain. In turn, the doctors injected Tika, and he lay unconscious for around five days. "When I woke up after around five days, I saw that my left hand was amputated and my right hand heavily bandaged," Tika recalls. "The doctors had asked me to slowly move my right hand but I couldn't. After 10 days, I lost my other hand, and had it not been removed, doctors said I'd have cancer." In such way, Tika's dream of serving his country until his death and his dreams about his life all vanished.

At the hospital, Tika's pain had passed to his parents and his wife. His friends had informed his parents and they had come for a visit. Seeing that her son had no arms, his grief-stricken mother was severely traumatized. "My mother still hasn't recovered from the shock," Tika confides. As he recalls the moment, his eyes fill with tears. "I was the eldest of the family and my parents believed that I'd do something. Yet, they found the opposite," Tika choked.

In his poem, 'A Dream Deferred', American poet, Langston Hughes, (February 1, 1902 – May 22, 1967), queries 'What happens to a dream deferred' and after various elective answers, the poet concludes 'Or does it explode?' After losing both of his arms at an early age of 21, Tika's dream of serving his country until his death deferred forever, and he did 'explode'.

"I continuously cried for six months and attempted suicide many times. Seeing what I could do, my friends never left a door or window open," Tika narrates. "I wanted to die because all of my dreams had perished…" his eyes, once again, well up with tears. "Back then, I felt as if I was a living dead. I had my breath and nothing else." Tika shared that had it not been the NA and his friends, he would not be where he now is. "Had it not been NA, I'd have been on footpath begging for survival," Tika expressed.

As life moves on, events that precede and follow sometimes hurt us. Yet, time eventually heals, but it does not fail to leaves behind scars. "I still cannot express the pain of not having my hands. Even now, I wish I had my hands, and such revelations strike the deepest when I'm alone." Tika shared. After crying for six months, Tika heard the name of Sudarshan Gautam, who, too had no hands. Yet, he drove a car with his legs. "Initially, he was a great source of inspiration, and that was when I decided that I too had to move on," Tika recalls.

If a person becomes a poet at the touch of a lover, as Plato (429–347 B.C.E) said, pain further outcries heart-rending emotions to express itself on words. Hands move feverishly and idle tears roll down one's cheeks and spills over the paper to leave a mark. However, when one has no hands to write their emotions, but he persistently wants to express his pains, he seeks an outlet—through legs and sometimes, mouth. "I had so much pain within me that I wanted to express it as long as I got tired. Then, I tried to write with my feet but could not. After that, I started writing with my mouth," Tika shares. "In the initial days, I wrote Shayaris and later, songs.

Married a year after getting into Army, Tika's wife has been his greatest inspiration and his God since his incident. "My wife taught me to write songs and it is because of her that I am here. Every time I write something, I first show it to her. She is my biggest supporter...she is my hands…my God," Tika shared in joy. Such togetherness led Tika to produce an album on his own cost on 2003 /2004 AD. "The album's sales was more than what I had expected, and it further inspired me to overcome my disability." By now, Tika has written around 150 songs where many famous singers like Ishwor Amatya, Karna Shakya and others have lent their voices.
Like many people, Tika too believes that whatever happens, happens for good. "When I miss my hands, I recall that what counts is action and not passivity. Such thoughts inspires and consoles me," Tika shares. As people move on with knowledge, experience and lack, their dreams slowly changes, and Tika's dream too changed. "Now, I want to express my pain through my songs and be an inspiration to many disabled people," he shared, adding, "If one believes in oneself and has strong determination, anything is possible." Now, Tika has a different dream—"I want to set a World Record by composing six impromptu songs in an hour, stay in music and compose patriotic songs and in turn, hope to continue my deferred dream."

(The story's title comes from Langston Hughes's poem, 'A Dream Deferred'.)

The Future of History

Eight artists attempted to analyze and interpret a state of mind shaped by harmonization of the Rato Matsyendranath Jatra with modern times in a collaborative art project entitled, “Future of History,” at Park Gallery in Pulchowk.

Through the 50 paintings, they attempted to search the point of integration between ancient culture and modern lifestyle. Ambar Gurung, chief guest at the inauguration program on March 13, lauded the artists for their attempt. “Culture distinguishes us from other living beings, and we cannot live without it. It is something we must respect and recognize,” Gurung said in his short inaugural speech.

What is the future of history?
Mukesh Malla, Research Coordinator of the team fears that the future of our history would be doomed if today’s society fails to continue age-old customs and traditions. He says that the present is due to the past, and the future-in turn will be a result of our present. “We all have our roots, and they define what we do and don’t. It therefore is important to preserve our history,” Malla said. If Malla’s words hold true, “We’re probably diverted to a point where culture and modernity do not meet,” said Saroj Bajracharya, Project Coordinator.

Can modernity and history meet?
One of the themes that the artists explored in the exhibition was whether modernity and history could meet. Unlike common beliefs, modern life and ancient culture are not disparate, Bajracharya argues. “They have their roots in culture itself. It is only degrees of variation that causes distortion and transformation,” adds Bajracharya who painted the Roots of Coincidence piece. Since the roots are the same, Malla believes that these two can meet - solely with culture as the circumstance.

Simplicity in modernity
Although technological advancements have helped ease our lives, it has also added more chaos to it. Harmonization and simplicity can be achieved nonetheless says Bajracharya adding, “In order to reach simplicity, we first need to see the object of focus—simplify and understand it. Only then, can we work to reach the state of simplicity.” He conveys the same feeling in his painting -Roots of Coincidence, which depicts a red dressing table with many linked and disparate paths. Pointing to his painting, he explains that in order to achieve simplicity, “We only need to look at the object, the red dressing table. Once the object is clear, we need to find the simplest route that leads to the object.”

Changing forms, one belief
Rato Matsyendranath’s chariot is created every year to commence the festival and is dismantled later to indicate its completion. It is because of this that we do not have a single idol of Matsyendranath. Despite this, “The belief towards the deity remains as powerful a force,” adds Malla. This feeling has been expressed well in Sheelasha Rajbhandari’s painting, “24 Changing Skins and One Evolving Soul”. In it, Rajbhandari has created 24 different images of the deity as seen by 24 different perspectives.

The exhibition that supported by Park Gallery concluded on March 26. The team comprised of painters Mukesh Malla, Gopal Kalapremi Shrestha, Saroj Bajracharya, Manish Lal Shrestha, Hitman Gurung, Sundar Lama, Sheelasha Rajbhandari and theatre artist Ashesh Malla.

Round the world in 3650 Days

When fear enters a person’s mind, it brings to mind the most improbable thing: ghosts. And Pushkar Shah, who set on his journey to spread a message encountered just that when he was in China. Shah had asked for directions from a man who couldn’t be of much help due to the language barrier. Consequently, this man on a mission walked through a forest all day but to no avail. Shah ended up sleeping in the forest, surviving on water and orange peels, which he wished were more abundant. “As the night progressed, my hunger eased away and was replaced by fear. I thought what if bears or tigers attack me? So I drew my khukuri and said to myself, ‘I’ll fight.’ Just then I realized, ‘What if ghosts come?’” Shah’s laughter resounds in the meeting room.


“I wanted to spread the message of peace from a small country called Nepal,” Shah, who was gun shot during the movement of 1990 says. Dissatisfied with the insignificant stride towards establishing peace, as was his father who served in the Indian Army, Shah set out on his journey. “It was my courage and determination that pushed me,” Shah says. A graduate of education and fine arts from Kathmandu University, Shah pondered on traveling the world and explored possibilities. “Since majority of Nepalis are economically backward, even if we want to, we cannot afford to do so,” Shah says. “While exploring my options, I suddenly thought of cycling, and that’s how it all started with the zeal of my youth,” Shah, who set on his journey on 29 November 1998, adds.


But to his mother for whom the world was as much as her eyes could see, the thought was absurd, and when he shared it with people, they thought he was bluffing. “Obviously no one believed me then,” Shah reminisces. But the young man set on his journey and he did travel, a tiring journey of 10 years to others’ amusement. Did he have money? One’s sure to ask; he did have a 100 rupee note that his mother, Naram Kumari, gave him. Off went the young man with his mother’s blessing and a bicycle (that cost 14,000 rupees) that actor Sharmila Malla had given him. The young man in his twenties returned home at the age of “IC 26,” as he puts it (IC for Indian Currency with the conversion rate of 1.6).


A decade of cycling endlessly must have been tiring but he says that was the only problem he faced on his journey back home. “Apart from the physical exertion, there was no other problem. Throughout the journey, I was never sick,” Shah, 41, says as he recalls his yesteryears.


Ten years of cycling across countries undoubtedly is an astounding feat. But did Shah’s courage and determination always push him beyond borders? Did he ever think of abandoning the journey and heading back to his village home in Makaibari VDC in Dolakha? Did he ever seem to have lost his purpose, like most of us generally tend to? Shah says yes. “When I traveled hungry, surviving on water and sleeping in jungles and deserts, I thought, ‘Why am I doing this?’” Shah says. However, those doubts dissolved with the dawn of another day and he traveled across frontiers for 3650 days to make it through. “I cycled around nine to ten hours every day. The longest I paddled was in Canada when I crossed a length of 220 km in 15 hours,” Shah says. Where would he rest then? “I rested and slept at parks, stations, streets, wherever it was free,” Shah says without a qualm.


When Shah had set on his journey, Internet was new to the country and only a few had access to computers. As he cycled across countries, Internet was slowly growing back home. On his return, the country had changed with the advent of computer and technology. Shah shares, “When I told people I was cycling around the world, they’d ask for my email address, something I hadn’t heard of or known before. Nishant KC, son of a military attaché at the Nepalese embassy in Beijing created one for me.”


As he paddled to the West, Nepalis residing there proposed that he quit his journey and settle with them. He could have and no one would know. “There had been proposals from Nepalis living abroad but I couldn’t do that,” Shah, who carried the Nepali national flag with him, says. “Regardless of the luring economic prospects, I couldn’t dishonor my flag,” Shah, also an Everest summiteer explains.