Raising up...again!

I do not know where these words, that were long silenced by unseen forces will lead me to. Like the water that flows from high streams, random thoughts of which I do not hold grip off; keeps flowing. But all of it flows by remembering your presence my Beloved. It is this intensity...this throbbing of my heart that beats in delight and yet remains confused. I no longer hear the chaotic world. What I only hear is the blood running from my body and feel it flow as this heart beats. And as it flows in every part of me, it recalls your name, and my thoughts run over you.

No I’m not drunk, but maybe the moving pen along these lines has intoxicated me. I feel the pressure...my pen walking down every lines...it tries to breathe after long time...too long a time that I can recall its silence.

My pen keeps flowing, as if in flashbacks a man in coma twitches his eyes, and hands fumble to show signs of life...maybe his dear ones knew he’d survive, breathe again, but the thought, to which, he himself had submitted to...

Those lanes, those lights, those people around you...that force to which we frequently fight to...Life brings its surprises as it runs its own course...your tender eyes that itself radiates light, and your faint smile injects me to tranquility.

My hands move. I try to raise my hands to show that vital sign of life...to show that I’ve yet not given up...to show that it still isn’t time to give in...to reclaim what was lost because time had waited...waited for me when all of you thought it finally was time to move on...when everyone had thought that it now was only memories; faint or strong of mine to which one could hold on to.

I’m still unaware of the surrounding because I fail to open my eyes...but I can feel my pupils move; right and left; as when they move when one sees a terrible...frightful dream. Part of me now conscious, I question to those watching me, as I try to find life. Why did you all give up on me, when you knew I would live? Why did you turn away your heads when you knew that I would be back? Why did you bow down your heads and submitted to time when I was fighting?

I exasperate...hear faint sounds murmuring...is it of joy? or is it of amusement or of surprise because everyone hadn’t expected this sudden change of fate...this sudden turn...a twist when one had never expected!

I open my eyes...the vision is dim...blurry but I can sense heads protruding and disappearing, and protruding again. I can smell the breath of fresh air and foul smell of my fatigued body. I’ll take a shower...I see people smiling, of whom I still have faint memories of...I pass a faint smile, but not easily. I succeed with all my strength...I move my head sideways and see everyone’s still the same. I feel amused...

I gather my strength, close my eyes, clench my fists, move my legs and try to raise myself up...I try...I hold on to my new life harder...I’m raising myself...I raise myself up...

I have a clear vision...I smile...people pat on my back...I smile, and smile in amusement for myself and hear myself speak...hear my voice after a long time... “I...I...I’m back!”